Let Them Smell You

This morning I ran Central Park. I chose the inside paths since this is my first run of the year. I am astonished that the majority of dogs are unleashed and do not even look up when I run past. In my neighborhood, dogs are leashed and go crazy barking at you when you run past. It is not just the leash either. It is even worse when they are not leashed. As all know, typically a barking dog can be calmed down by letting them smell you, letting them know they have nothing to fear.

Humans are the same. Those with the biggest bark are the most insecure. If you let them smell you, they will be much easier to work with.

Forgot How to Be Friendly

I did a business trip today to Kansas City. Each time I come, I am shocked how friendly the people are. Coming and going, the rental car shuttle driver entered into a lengthy conversation with me. The rental car clerk was smiley, perky and helpful. Even the security guard smiled as a came through the scanner. I found it hard to return the smile. I have lapsed into big city mode: block everyone out, hurry, only worry about yourself. Granted, the pace of life is slower and there is more time to worry about other people, but even in a big city we should never forget how to be friendly. After all, who doesn’t have time for a smile?

 

The Love of a Father

I recently took surfing lessons with my sons (8 and 15 years old). Thanks to his ill-educated father, my eight year old arrived wearing a life jacket (to give him confidence since he would be 100 feet from shore in water over his head) and with suntan lotion only on his nose (since he had just had miserable experiences with suntan lotion burning his face and eyes). The instructor (father of four) patiently asked my eight year old why he was wearing a life jacket and explained that it would actually make it harder for him. He reassured him that one of his helpers would be with him all the time. Success. He removed his life jacket. Upon learning my son did not have suntan lotion on his face, the instructor took some of his own suntan lotion, explained to my son how important it was and slowly with the love of a father painted a special surfer suntan lotion on his face.

The experience made me think of how often people try to force their children, spouse, subordinates or other acquaintances to do things. Even if they are the right things to do, it does not matter. Force is the way of the dark side. Patient persuasion is what we should always use.

To Each Her Own

When I was in the hospital for my kidney stone, the nurses changed often. I would doze off for a few minutes and next thing I knew a new nurse was there waking me up to take my vitals. My roommate and I both remarked that we felt like we were in a different hospital each time the nurse changed because they all did things so differently. One nurse strictly forbid showers because of our IVs while another encouraged it. One nurse left our street clothes in the corner while another put them in the cupboard. Apparently even though they all did things differently, each different way was okay or they would have been fired.

When working with others it is the same. Everyone does things a little differently. As long as someone is doing a task within the bounds of acceptability, it is fine. It may not be the best way, but it is fine and improvement suggestions are not necessary.

This Too Shall Pass

Returning from our Maine beach vacation, I had a kidney stone attack as we passed through Massachusetts and ended up staying 24 hours in a hospital. Our one day trip was turned into a three day trip. We had to fly our 15 year old son home so he could be there for youth camp. Not to mention, I suffered the pains of a kidney stone which they say compare to labor. Immediately before leaving the hospital, the stone passed like all the trials of life seem to.

When challenges arise, I always think of Joseph of Egypt. He was left in a pit to die, sold as a slave into Egypt and sent to prison on false charges. And he was a good guy. However, had this not happened, he would have never had the opportunity to interpret Pharaoh’s dream and save Egypt from the famine.

Maybe it is not which waves hit us in life or why they hit us. Maybe it is just that we need enough waves to hit us to wear off our rough edges like stones on the seashore.

A Fresh Coat of Paint

I am spending the week at my wife’s aunt and uncle’s recently updated rental property in Maine. As I walk around the area with colonials dating back to the 1800′s, it is evident what a big difference a nicely trimmed yard and fresh coat of paint makes. It makes me think of today’s casual grooming. Casual has been stretched to comfortable. Comfortable has been stretched to grungy. Whether at home, at work or at play, a figurative fresh coat of paint in dress and grooming habits makes a huge difference. It shows respect for self and for others.

The No Op Entertainer

Last night we went to Old Montreal where we watched a street performer. He worked the crowd to no end but there was no performing. Fifteen minutes into his performance he lit a torch, ran his hand through the flame twice and the fuel ran out. Just as we were running out of patience he recruited someone from our party to help him. We were stuck for the next half hour. He finally did a little singing, but his performance reminded me of a term we used when I worked at one of IBM’s laboratories: no op.

A no op is a computer instruction that advances the instruction pointer but does nothing. In other words, it uses the computer’s resources but accomplishes nothing. This term was applied to people who used everyone else’s time but accomplished nothing. I pondered on whether I was a no op sometimes. Do I complain or worry about things outside of my control? Do I talk just to hear myself talk? How much time do I spend on myself versus others? Am I accomplishing something with my life?